Love is in the air, and your eye
by awesomenesshasar
Summary: Co-written with Evil-Ekat!When Bill meets the Love-god at a demon and upper forces convention, things take a turn for the worse. Especially when the Love-god tries to set him up with someone. MaBill. Rated T for language, and suggestive themes.


A/N: This is a collaboration I worked on with Evil Ekat! We really didn't even try to write this, but we did somehow.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls, and Evil Ekat wrote this with me.

* * *

><p>"Bill how are ya'?"<p>

Bill groaned, and turned around to face The Love-God.

"Why did I even come here?" He asked to himself.

"For the free samples of my new album of course! Wanna' listen?"

"Oh look! There's something I have to do over there that is not here!"

"Aw, come on, man. You gotta listen! It's like synthesized 80's music! Everyone loves synthesized music!"

Before the triangle could protest, the Love-God shoved some ear-buds into where his ears would be. His eye widened as the music tortured his hearing.

"AH! IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP!"

Bill fell to his knees, shaking as the song reached its chorus, which was little more than the God screaming like a maniac.

Bill started to cry as the Love-Gods' vocals destroyed the ears he did not know he possessed. The attention of a the other demons and gods were caught as Bill Cipher, the same guy who consecutively won the awards for "best dressed", "most evil", "most deceitful","most deals made while talking like a chipmunk", and so on for several consecutive millenniums. They started to laugh and take pictures of the triangle who was huddled on the ground. Or at least they did so until the Love-God said;

"Sweet, do you guys want to hear my latest album as well?"

They all backed away simultaneously, not wanting to hear the atrocious music. The demon on the ground shuddered quite a bit. The Love-God gave a slightly sympathetic look.

"Yeesh, I didn't think that anyone could dislike 80's synthesizer so much. Alright, man, let's help you out."

Bill couldn't protest as the God pulled out the ear-buds and carried him on his back. The demon tried to avoid being humiliated even further, but found the Love-God wouldn't let him go. He sighed, and resigned himself to this.

"Hey, Love-God."

"Yeah, my brother?"

He winced when the God called him that.

"First off, don't call me that."

"Alright."

"Second off, you know I'm going to kill you once I'm better, right?"

"...Yeah."

The Love-God then felt Bill start to strangle him, although since being a God kind of made you immortal, he wasn't too worried.

'No wonder why he always stays in the dreamscape. Dude's got the social skills of a wet cat left out in the snow!' He thought to himself.

"I can hear you." He groaned.

The prefect idea for revenge came to the cherub's mind, he would make the demon pay for pretending to not like his music! And that Pines girl for meddling!

"All you need is some love!"

"... No."

"Come on, I know the perfect girl! Her name's Mabel Pines and-"

"There is no way that's happening."

The Love-god suddenly swabbed love potion that had Mabel's hair mixed in to it all over the demon. A startled look came over his eye as he realized what was going to happen, but it was too late. The demon's pupil turned a bright shade of pink, and seemed to relax a bit, sighing contentedly.

"Love-god, can I tell you something?" The demon asked slyly, playing with the God's hair.

The God smiled, already knowing what he was going to say, and nodding.

"Sure thing, brother!" The demon didn't even tell him to not call him 'brother'.

"I think I have a crush." Bill whispered like a child, and gave a sigh.

"But she'll never love me back."

He gave an over-dramatic gesture of defeat, letting his arms dangle at his sides. The Love-god smiled sympathetically, and flicked his top hat affectionately.

"Don't worry, I think I know just how to help you win her over..."

* * *

><p>Mabel had been working a rather boring day at the counter, and was just about to leave the room when a guy about her age walked in. He was extremely attractive, with his blonde hair, slim build, and beautiful pink eyes. Why did he have pink eyes? Oh, who cared, he was GORGEOUS. She stared at him dreamily, until he began speaking to her.<p>

"Uh, can you help me with something?"

"Of course." She grinned, batting her eyelashes.

For a moment, Bill was able to fight off the effects of the love-potion. Of course, what he said next didn't help his situation any.

"Why am I in a human body?" He wondered to himself.

Mabel grinned. Confusion was just the first signs of this random hot stranger being some sort of supernatural creature! Not a vampire per say, they had human bodies. Were-wolves on the other hand...

"Because you're a were-wolf silly!" She smiled.

He paused, thinking for a moment. Yeah, that probably sort of made sense...

"Have I bitten anyone yet?" He asked, staring at his hands nervously, as though fur might sprout up spontaneously.

Mabel gave a thoughtful glance rubbing her chin. She then shrugged.

"I don't know, actually. I don't think so. Anyways, my name's Mabel, but you can call me the girl of your dreams."

The blonde blinked for a moment, and replied in all seriousness;

"Hello, the girl of my dreams. I'm...Will."

She then laughed, and shoved him hard enough to push him to the ground, and he rubbed his head, frowning slightly. He then stood up, and leaned against the counter.

"Oh, you're hilarious for a were-wolf! And attractive..."

She gave a sly wink, and he blushed a bit from her comment. She was so lovely, with her sleek brown hair, cute pink cheeks, adorable sweater, the list went on. And before he knew what he was doing, he blurted out;

"Willyougoonadatewithmesometime?"

"No, I will not go on a date with you some time." Mabel firmly replied.

The blond started at her, embarrassment and hurt flashing across his face. But Mabel just smiled at him.

"Because we can go on one right now!"

He instantly brightened at this.

"Great!" He smiled. "I know the perfect place!"

"Alright, where is it?" The brunette inquired.

"Well, I think it's a place you might recognize."

Mabel smiled.

"I'm looking forward to seeing it again."

Walking over to the door that read 'Employees Only', she opened it and shouted;

"Stan, I'm going on a date! Have Dipper cover my shift!"

Moments later, there was the sound of footsteps rushing down the stairs, and Dipper practically jumped out to them. His eyes narrowed to see Bill, and he asked;

"Mabel, who is this?"

Mabel began to nervously laugh.

"W-well he's certainly not a were-wolf if that's what you're asking!" She nervously waved off.

Stan narrowed his eyes. Mabel was always terrible at lying, even worse than her brother. No good could come of this situation. Did Bill seriously think that he could disguise himself by wearing pink contacts? Or maybe he had fallen under a love-potion... Nah, Bill wasn't actually stupid enough to get anywhere close to a Love-god and somehow get a dose of potion that made him attracted to Mabel. He was just dumb enough to think that having pink eyes meant he was disguised.

"Of course- NOT!"

Stan rather viciously poked Bill in the eye, hoping that this would cause the contact to fall out and reveal his disguise. The demon gave a wail of surprise, and said;

"Ha! That tickles! I mean- AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaagggggh! My eye! My normal human eye! It was so human and normal and not suspicious in any way and you just stabbed me in there! It hurts! Pain! Everywhere! I would be seeing the light, except you just decided to poke me in the eye like that!"

He continued on with the theatrics, trying to convince Stan that he was indeed a normal human demon- being, who was in no way suspicious or in need of a rather long interrogation involving complicated questions he would have trouble answering.

"I'll never be able to play the violin again!"

Alright, that was just ridiculous. Bill didn't even OWN a violin. Maybe he was stupid enough to fall under the spell of a Love-god. While Bill continued screaming about his eye and acting as though he had been stabbed in the eye instead of simply poked. The others stared uncomfortably in silence as he continued writhing on the ground. Mabel let out a quiet cough as he laid on the ground with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, playing dead. Stan rolled his eyes.

"Finally! Now let's burn the body!" He exclaimed, and Bill immediately shot up, shouting;

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that! Mabellet'sgo!"

He shouted the last art very fast and dragged her out of the shack before anyone could protest.

"So where are we going on our date?" Mabel wondered, pulling at the blindfold that had been tied over her eyes.

"You'll love it!" The blond replied. "There's a really great view!"

"Ummm... Are you taking me to make-out point?" Mabel asked in a small voice.

"What?!" He asked, turning pink and pushing her in the opposite direction of make-out point. "No! What sort of creep would take a girl to make-out point on their first date?"

The couple was quiet for a bit, and the man even carried her on his back for a little while. Probably using his super-strong were-wolf powers that he had to carry her more easily. Eventually, the man said;

"Take off your blindfold, now!"

Mabel pulled off the blindfold, and found herself standing atop the water tower. She took a terrified step back, practically jumping in to the man's arms as she tried to claw away from the heights.

"Nonononononononono!" She screamed.

The demon had a ghost of a smile appear on his lips as she clung to him tightly. She had eyes shut tight as she took deep breaths, nearing hysteria.

"Um, I take it you don't like heights?" He was now becoming a bit uncomfortable from her strong grasp.

"No, I HATE heights! PleasegetmedownnowI'mbeggingyou!"

Bill ruffled her hair affectionately, and pried her hand off of his arms. She jumped onto his back, refusing to let go of him. Now, he was climbing back down the ladder with quite some difficulty as Mabel let out a terrified shriek every few seconds.

Suddenly, one of his feet slipped. Before the demon could catch himself they were falling through the air, and probably going to end up very pancaked. But suddenly, completely out of nowhere, he started to float. Carefully, the blond set Mabel on the ground while he co tinued to float.

"MABEL, look at this!"

Safe on the groundl she now opened her eyes and gave a gasp.

"You're not a were-wolf!" She said in horror.

The man looked at her nervously, wondering if this was a bad thing and Mabel would no longer like him. Because if that was the case, things were going to get very ugly. Luckily, Mabel gave a beaming smile.

"You're a hybrid between a vampire and a were-wolf, and were probably exiled from both the pack and clan after it was discovered that you had such forbidden origins!"

The man was baffled at how she came to this conclusion, but smiled and went along with it anyway. She gave an excited squeal, and pulled him into a strong hug. The blond smiled, and for a moment, he debated on whether or not he should kiss her. Then the hug ended, and she started to drag him somewhere else.

"Come on, let's go to Greasy's Diner! You'll love it!"

* * *

><p>He HATED it. There was a beaver chewing on his pant leg, and there was a woodpecker attacking his tophat as it was mistaken for a tree. Bill jumped as he was pretty sure one of the kitchen's "pets" (ie: Blood-thirsty rats the size of raccoons .) crawled up one of his legs. And not to mention that the entire place smelled perpetually of coffee and omletes.<p>

"Here's your coffee omlete cutie! Wink!"

It took all of the demon's will-power not to scream in horror.

Mabel noticed his discomfort, and leaned forward to him.

"Hey, do you not like this place?"

The blond blushed, and immediately denied it.

"Oh, no! Of course I love this place, with its rodents, bad smell, gross food, and creepy waitresses..." He trailed off, glancing nervously at the possum that scurried across the floor.

Mabel sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while as the man twiddled his thumbs, whistling a familiar tune. He was just so handsome and likable, but he wouldn't make a move! So they both sat there awkwardly, looking at everything but each other. He accidentally made eye-contact with her. He just noticed how beautiful and brown they looked, filled with sparkling with life and so on and so forth. They were just so lovely.

"Will?"

She looked so wonderful.

"Earth to Will?"

And she was so nice.

"Hello?"

She was-

"WILL!"

"WHAT?!" He snarled, goofy smile wiped off of his face.

The demon rubbed his eyes, the pink hue slowly fading away from them. What was he doing gere? And why was he in a human body. And what was MABEL PINES doing next to him, hands placed on his shoulders as she shook him.

"Stop that!" He snarled, pushing away her hands.

Mabel's eyes widdened in hurt, and she took a step away from him.

"W-Will?" Mabel nervously asked.

"What are you talking about Shooting Star?" He snarled. "Get away from me!"

The Love-god winced from his hidden spot at a table in the diner. His fun was starting to wane. He aimed for the demon once more, but at the last second Mabel's head got in the way. There was an obnoxious pink poof, and the girl's eyes turned a familiar shade of pink. The tears welling in her eyes dried up, and Mabel gave him a fliratous smile and tossed her hair. Bill now realized what was going on, and a certain Love-god was making his un-life a living hell.

"Bill my darling!"

This was not good.

"Aw, fuck." He muttered under his breath.

The brunette was now snuggling against him, and she wouldn't let him move! The Love-god would pay for this, oh, he would. As soon as he got out of his current predicament.

"Oh, Bill honey, you're so handsome. And funny. And smart. And-"

"Please, shut up!"

She playfully pushed him.

"Oh, you're such a tease, darling!"

Groaning, the demon felt like ripping his hair out.

"No, I'm not a tease. I'm NOT interested in you!"

"Oh, always with your jokes!"

Bill screamed out frustration, anger, and slight fear.

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Alright." The woman snuggled against him closer, letting her head lay on his shoulder.

"Bill?" Mabel asked, staring at him with those idiotic pink eyes.

The demon groaned. He really, really wanted to kill that stupid Love-god. Why was it that dieities tended to be more imortal and harder to kill than most people?!

"Yes?" He groaned.

The man looked at her in surprise as she suddenly slid on to his lap and started to play with his bow tie. He debated pushing her on to the disgusting floor of the diner so the rats in his pants might try to eat her her face instead of his flesh. But instead, he chose to see where this was going.

"You know I'd do anything for you, right?" She asked.

"Anything?" He asked in suprise.

Mabel nodded, and leaned closer to his lips. Of course, he had completely different plans for her suprising complacency. He gave a devilish smile, and stood up. Mabel slipped off of his lap at this, and one of the rats actually feel out of his pants.

"Well in that case, I need you to help me get revenge on a certain overweight baby-man..."

* * *

><p>The Love-god smiled, and giggled as he saw the two getting closer to each other. He noticed Bill stand up with Mabel and whisper something to her, a smile growing on her face. Then, out of nowhere, she scowled, and slapped him. The God looked surprised at this sudden change, and ducked as to not be spotted. She started yelling at him, and the blond tried to coerce her to sit down. He was met with another slap, and she screamed;<p>

"You never listen to me! I hate you!"

The brunette stomped out of the diner angrily, and the blond reached a hand to try and stop her, but slowly lowered it. He looked crestfallen, and buried his face in his hands. The Love-god slid into the seat across from him, and twiddled his thumbs nervously.

"Sooo, how you doing, my brother?" He asked nervously.

The blonde looked up with tears in his eyes.

"Sh-she doesn't love me! I thought she did, but she was j-just trying to get me to give her something she wanted!"

He burst out sobbing, and the God patted his back sympathetically.

"Hey, don't worry brother, I'll fix this!"

"R-really?" Bill whimpered.

"Yes! I'll be back soon! Don't you go nowhere!" The Love-god backed out of the diner as he pointed at Bill.

The demon smirked back at Mabel through the window, and gave a thumbs-up.

As soon as the Love-god caught up to Mabel, he tossed more of the love-potion at her. Only, she continued to walk away for some unfathomable reason.

"H-hey!" He panted as he ran up to her. "Y-you're supposed to be... supposed to be... dating... triangle...so I can... get revenge..."

Mabel turned around to face him, her eyes already pink. Following the hasty plan she and the demon concocted, a smile broke across her face as she cooed;

"There you are my darling!"

"Uh oh."

"I knew dating that demon wasn't a good idea. I prefer a man much more..." She trailed off, eyeing him seductively.

He nervously backed away from her, trying to get away.

"Uh, sorry, not interested..."

"Oh, come on, people don't call you 'The Love-god' for no reason."

"Actually they do, it's, uh, just a name I picked up, with no significance whatsoever. Listen, I gotta go now..." He replied nervously.

"Oh, come on. Wouldn't it be nice to stop working for a while, and start something? Settle down with a family?"

The Love-god looked at her like she was insane.

"Oh, w-would you look at that! Ineedtogonowbecauseofreasons!"

The Love-god scurried away faster than she expected, screaming and running into a few people.

Once they were certain the love-god was gone, Bill came out of his hiding place.

"Finally! Always hated that guy!"

Mabel turned around to face the demon, her eyes still love-potion pink.

"And now that we've gotten rid of him, we can finally get married!"

Right. He had completely forgotten that Mabel was still in love with him.

"Kiss me!"

"What?! No! Get away!"

"But I love you!"

"Your love doesn't mean anything! You're just under the Love-god's potion!"

"So what?"

"So you DON'T ACTUALLY LOVE ME."

Mabel pouted.

"But that doesn't matter, does it?"

"Uh, yeah, pretty sure IT DOES."

The brunette ignored this and snuggled against him like a cat vying for attention. He pushed her away, only to have her comb her fingers through his hair. He really didn't like her advances, and was about to say something before she planted her lips square on his. His eyes widened in surprise. At first he debted to struggle away, but all of those thoughts were quelled as new feelings ran through his body like lightning. The fingers trailing through his hair were no longer annoyances, they were wonderful. And the lipgloss Mabel was wearing tasted like pitt cola without the pit. Just as he was about to place his arms around her waist, they were interrupted.

"Come on man! You're in pub- MABEL?!"

Sure enough Dipper was now running up to the couple.

"What they heck man? You can't just kiss my SISTER like that in public!" He said.

"I didn't want to!" He whined, she's under a love potion!

"What?! No! This is true love!"

"No it's not!"

Tears began to well in Mabel's love-potion pink eyes.

"B-but you said that you'd love me if I did what you w-wanted!"

Dipper's eyes widdened in horror as he came to the wrong conclusion.

"Mabel! You didn't-?"

"And now I'm pregnant!"

"You did WHAT?!"

Bill rolled his eyes at Mabel's theatrics and Dipper freaking out. That wasn't even possible!

"Relax Pine Tree, she's just under a love-potion."

"PINE TREE?!" Dippr screamed. "Oh god my sister's been dating a dream-demon and now she's going to have his dream-demon child and-"

Diooer went on and on, until he finally stopped his rant and said in a deathly calm voice;

"Wait till I tell Stan!"

Bill's eyes widdened, and he triee to say;

"No, no! You don't have to-"

"Too late."

"C'mon, Pine Tree! Think this through! What good would it do if your uncle found out? I mean, would it really help anything if he knew we kissed?"

"You didn't just kiss, her Bill. I think if Stan knew this it would help all of us."

The blond cringed, and was now reduced to begging.

"Please, don't do this! It isn't necessary!"

He latched himself to the young man's ankle as Dipper tried to walk towards the shack. Mabel followed along nervously, wondering how Stan would react. He would probably kill the demon, if that was possible. Soon enough, Dipper reached the Mystery Shack, dream-demon(Was he crying now?) and all latched on to his leg as he tried to explain everything. Stan was standing on the porch, looking at the sight with mild amusement.

"I don't even know if I should ask." The man said, looking down at Bill. Was the demon still under the love-potion? Maybe he had somehow managed to fall in love with Dipper this time around?

"- And then I insulted the love-god's music ddn then he forced me to listen to it and then he got revenge by making me think that I loved your sister and I never even got to collect all of my awards how could they do this to me and then we went on a terrible date and apparently I'm a were-wolf now and she somehow fell in love with me just as mine wore of and we got revenge and now she's whatever and I swear that you don't need to tell Stan this!"

Yes, just a normal day in Gravity Falls.

"Bill kissed Mabel and got her pregnant."

This was the last thing Stan had been expecting to come out of his nephew's mouth. This almost made him fall over from the shock. His shock soon turned into anger, and he grabbed the blond by the collar. Bill let out a terrified squeak.

"Please don't kill me." He didn't think his voice would crack so much but it did.

Coming eye-to-eye with the demon, Stan growled;

"Give me five thousand reasons why I shouldn't bash your head into the porch right now."

"Um, Mabel would be heartbroken?"

That was the wrong answer, and unfortunately, his last words.

The moral of the story being, don't mess with the Love-god. He will fuck up your life.

**_ Fin_**


End file.
